Letters she Wrote
by Kiss Pookie
Summary: Emma seems to start out to have a nice Christmas home from college with her boyfriend, Kelly that is until she finds out a dark family secret days before Christmas and turns to someone far away for help. KC/Claire subplot.
1. Icing on the Cake

**Title: **Letters she Wrote

**Author: **Bri

**Rating: **T

**Genre: **Drama/Romance

**Pairing: **Emma/Kelly, friendship/later romance Emma/Sean, the subplot contains KC/Claire.

**Summary: **Emma seems to start out to have a nice Christmas home from college with her boyfriend, Kelly that is until she finds out a dark family secret days before Christmas and turns to someone far away for help.

**Authors Note: **This is brand new. I finally write something in the present day, not season-three verse, not season four - **season eight**. I assume Emma goes home on Christmas break and decides to bring Kelly along to meet her parents. I wont give away the details of the secret until you actually read it, you'd be shocked too if you were Emma. My friend Kelsea thought of some ideas and helped me brainstorm out some of this story and it was honestly all because of this video I saw on Youtube for a movie trailer and it had Peter and Emma it. . . And the wheels got a turning when I said something odd. So yeah, this might sound like one of those Lifetime tragedies, but not that dramatic. Enjoy.

**Chapter One: The Icing on the Cake**

Peter Stone was lost, scared and didn't know where to turn. This year had been off to such a great start, and now his whole world is crashing upside down and inside out. It's bad enough the secret he's got to keep about Riley and the running and living alone has just gotten to him. He went for his yearly doctors appointment, and he found out he has the big C, the icing on the cake. Last week he traveled to Regina to see his mom, and she told him something pretty damaging and told him that the mother he has to see is actually exactly where he came from, in Degrassi. She gave him the address, he honestly didn't put two and two together and being that it was so close to Christmas - all the houses looked pretty much the same in town. Every house had some lights decorating the rooftops; everyone had snow topped houses because of last night's snowfall. He took a deep breath, and an exhale releasing the breath that he could see and shook his head. He was distraught, how could his mom, or his "mom" keep a secret from him like that for the past eighteen years? It hurt him. For once the kid who was rumored to have no heart, no soul hasn't been more at a loss in his entire life, and he never really had a need to know about who the mother was so maybe just made she could have it in her heart to save his life.

Christine Nelson was always happy during the holidays, even as a little girl it was always something she looked forward to. In a few days her mom would be in town again and she'd visit. She was even happier when she found Emma would be returning home and bringing a friend, her roommate from school Kelly. Spike was alarmed to find Kelly and Emma had been seeing each other until when he came over earlier in the afternoon and revealed himself. Kelly was a boy, her little baby rooming with a boy who she had feelings with. She supposed this is what college is really about. She can honestly say she's growing up well, better than she did.

It was dark fall now and Christine, Emma, Spike, Jack and Kelly were all enjoying It's a Wonderful Life on TV. It was a family tradition and this year was no different. Spike had been microwaving the popcorn for everyone until she heard a knock at the door. She also heard the microwave go off, so quickly took a large blue bowl out and poured the contents of the bag of hot popcorn, and went to the front door.

"Hello may I help you?" Spike asked with the bowl in her hand. Peter looked inside and the house was kind of dark, judging by the bowl he had figured they were watching a movie. "You look familiar."

"Ah I go to school in Degrassi?" Peter asked nervously. He really didn't know what to say, his eyes widened and he didn't want to say it, but it just blurted. "Oh my god. You're Emma Nelson's mom!"

She just smiled and laughed, "Would you like to see her, she's home for Christmas break, she's right inside?"

Peter shook his head like a madman. The last person he wanted to talk to was her daughter, who he didn't even think she knew. That would cause tons more damage. It was between him and his would be mother. Now that he was able to look at Spike he saw something, she really didn't know and this would've been damaging for her as well. He opened his mouth, "No ma'am, I wanted to talk to you."

"What is it?" Spike asked.

He stammered nothing coming out, "You're name is Christine."

"Oh quit being a wise guy, is this a prank?" She looked around past me outside and to the sides, nobody. This wasn't a prank.

"No ma'am." he answered politely. "Eighteen years ago you had a son . . ."

She snapped back, "No, I had a daughter. What is with you? She's inside; I insist if you'd like to see her -"

Peter interrupted, "You had a son too."

Spike looked at Peter like a Precious Moment doll, her eyes wide and the shock had caused to drop her popcorn bowl. She closed her eyes when she noticed the thud and quickly shuffled outside shutting the door. Poorly equipped for the cold without a jacket she put her arms around you, "I'm listening."

"You didn't know?"

"Well. . ." She started.

"Well?"

"An agency called about three years ago asking if I wanted to meet this son I apparently had because he was moving to the area. I-I said it would be best for the boy . . . I never knew I had two until I got the call."

"So you only knew about Emma?"

Spike nodded. "Did you want to meet me or is something wrong?"

"A little bit of both."

"I do remember you, you." She swallowed hard, "told me that Emma had an eating disorder. You were friends, but I saw less of you after her friend returned from another town. . . Peter. You're Daphne Hatzilacos' son, the principal. . Oh my god!"

Peter backed away nervously, "She adopted me and raised me as her own."

"Well I can say she did a fine job." Spike rolled her eyes and she was sarcastic, she then noticed she took her frustration out on the wrong person. "Sorry, our family had an issue with her."

Peter remembered what happened a few years ago at the movie premiere. Now he understood, he remembered when Em finally told him about some of the problems at home, it stemmed from that. He sighed, "Oh . . . right look I'm sorry about her."

"Is this about her?" She asked Peter.

Peter shook his head, "No! It's about me. I have cancer. I thought you'd understand better than anyone. I came to ask you for help but God, Jeez now I'm not even sure if you'd even help me."

Spike them called after him but Peter had already turned around. "Peter wait!" Peter turned around and looked at Spike, she followed him in her slippers down some, "What is it?"

"I need some tissue. . . It's actually how I found out I was adopted. So I went to Regina to visit her because she doesn't even live in Degrassi anymore, and she isn't the principal and I live alone in a loft on Ferguson St. and I'm happy, I really am, but now my world is upside down because I found this out. Trust me Ms. Nelson, this was hard for me, and it's as hard as it is for me as it would be for you please understand this. I'm the one with cancer. I heard your husband had cancer a few years ago, and he survived and I know you're not my mom and all but -"

"Write down your address Peter." Spike told him simply. Spike dug in her pocket taking out a notepad she would keep in her pocket. Peter found a pen in his pocket and he wrote down his address, "and a phone number I can contact you with."

"Thank you." Peter's eyes welled, he was flattered. It was genuine, most would see Peter stone as a stony individual who cared so much about himself and when it came to others he was a schemer, a liar, a person who found joy in others pain and this year has changed him in so many ways, and had tested him as a person. Senior year Peter Stone learned to grow up. What would it cost him to stay alive and swallow his pride? Maybe that thing he must trade is his life. "M-merry Christmas and. . . Bless you."

Spike nodded still obviously in a state of shock, "You too. Enjoy yourself." As she said those words and when through the motions she had suddenly fell into a state of agony. She knew Emma was so fragile to finding out news, and she'll never forget the way she reacted with Shane, and in finding who he was and how her mother never mentioned him again to her ever since the one time they had met when Emma was three. She just didn't have the heart to put Emma through it again; she just simply had to tell Emma the truth. But how? She was so afraid of her reaction, so once again things were problematic. It seemed as if there was always a dark cloud over their family. Spike supposed it was true, through Snake's cancer, the infidelity issues, Snake marrying into a relationship where Emma was a teenager and all the things she was going through and went through, and the unplanned pregnancy of Jack were all contributors.

Peter then backed up and turned around and left Spike outside. Spike backed up to the door not taking her eyes off of the boy who was her son, and seeing him for the first time as. . her son. "What am I going to do?" she silently whispered to herself looking to the sky. The indifferent sky made no change. She took the handle of the door only to see Emma open it instead. Spike stepped inside.

"Mom are you alright?" Emma asked concerned, looking on the ground to find all the popcorn on the floor and the bowl on the ground. "And why were you outside? You're missing the movie."

Spike just softly smiled and nodded to answer her daughter's question looking down at the spilled popcorn. "I just needed a bit of air; I guess I'm not feeling too well."

"You don't have a flu? I heard that's going around, I really hope you don't."

Spike shrugged, "Which is why I might just get to bed and get some rest."

"What about the movie? Tradition? You alright?" Emma asked perplexed at her mom's behavior.

"Em, I'm fine I assure you." Spike faked a smile. She didn't want Emma to suspect anything, leave it to Emma to try to find the root of all problems, being Little Miss Save the world, she wonders if even her daughter ever got tired of it all. "Meh, I'm not up to it, sweetheart. You and Kelly could put Jackie to bed if Snake does end up falling asleep which I believe he will."

Emma pulled me into a hug. She always knew just what to do, Spike felt. She whispered in her ear, "I hope you feel better mom." Spike felt the crinkle of the popcorn under her slippers and she presumed Emma did too because she laughed, "it's okay mom I'll clean it up."

Moments later they pulled away from the hug. "Thanks Em, see you in the morning."

Emma waved to her mom before turning to go back into the living room to join the rest while Spike walked up the steps to bed.

Claire Edwards was hard at work making cookies with her good friend Allie Bandahari from her class. Connor is having a Christmas party at Mr. Simpson's house tomorrow, Christmas Eve. Claire volunteered to make cookies, and Allie decided she wanted to help. The two girls had developed somewhat of a friendship after they had a few classes together and have been spending lots of time together studying and even goofing off on occasion. The pair couldn't of been more different Claire would pick oxfords and knee-hi's while Allie was more of a denim mini and designer handbag kind of girl, none the less the two despite their difference get along just fine. Claire was happy to find a friend who she could cook with, she enjoyed cooking and she missed her big sis Darcy who would cook Christmas cookies with every year as far back as she could remember. She had Allie, and Allie was a great friend, although sometimes Allie cared more about boys than cooking.

"So I'm thinking of asking that Johnny DiMarco guy to come to the party."

"He isn't in our class." Claire protested as she went on her tiptoes to grab a large mixing bowl from the cabinet way up high in the kitchen while Allie was leaning on the counter using her hand to prop her head up looking up at her friend.

"Connor said we could bring a guest. If you could who would you bring?"

"I probably would bring Darcy."

"No, a boy. If you could invite a boy, who would you invite?"

Claire shrugged, "I don't have time to think about things like boys." It wasn't true though because Claire did. Claire thought quite often about a boy, the one she thought of in particular, his name was K.C Guthrie.

"Please, Claire. You cannot be serious." Allie stepped closer to her as Claire was still up there grabbing the other necessary things for cooking. "I mean there are plenty of boys."

"I know."

"Just pick one. It's not like I'm asking you to ask him, pick up the phone and ask him. If you had the chance who would you bring? Promise it wouldn't leave this room, I cross my-"

"You wouldn't tell if I told you right?" Claire interrupted.

"I'd take it too the grave." Allie said eagerly. "Might I say I know a boy who is quite interested in you."

Claire's eyes narrowed, "Who?"

A grin played on the tan brunette's lips, "K.C Guthrie"

The other girl's eyebrows rose, "Oh really?"

"I kid you not." Allie boasted proudly.

"Do you think he'd show up at the party?"

Allie thought about it, before looking at Claire. "I'm pretty sure. I mean he likes us, enough to sit with us at lunch and he knows you'd probably go, right?"

"I did mention I was going. . . " Claire trailed off.

"Maybe you don't need to tell me at all who it is you'd take."

"What do you mean?"

"Even I could tell it's completely obvious you like K.C. I just wanted to see what you would say." Allie laughed mischievously.

"Hey!" Claire exclaimed, "That isn't fair."

"Still, same rules still apply - I won't tell."

Claire stepped closer to Allie and put her pinkie out, "Pinkie promise."

Allie intertwined pinkies with Clare and shook her head, "I promise, now can we bake before it gets too late?"

The pair looked at the recipe and they started to get all the materials together. Deep down Claire was ecstatic for the party for two reasons. The first reason is to use her family's recipe for the perfect ooey gooey chocolate chip cookies for she wanted to please K.C because they often talked about the food their grandmother's make and he loves chocolate chip cookies. In fact, K.C lives with his grandma so he's always trying her dishes and claims she's the greatest cook in the world. He told Claire he was going to bring her special chicken casserole but only she would remember it. She indeed liked K.C. seeing him at the party would be simply the icing on the cake.


	2. Revelation

**Chapter Two: Revelation**

Emma Nelson woke up next to her boyfriend Kelly. He looked comfortable so she silently got out of bed carefully so she would not wake him. She slinked up the steps to see her mom cleaning in the kitchen once she emerged. "Hey mom, good morning."

After entering the room more, she was able to see Snake who was sitting at the table drinking some coffee. "Good morning, Emma." He greeted, still her mom said nothing. Emma knew something was up; her mom usually is not one to clean unless something was wrong.

"How did you and Kelly sleep?" Spike asked turning to acknowledge her daughter faking a smile before returning to clean some more.

Emma smiled answering, "Good, really good. How are you feeling?"

Spike hesitated, not facing her family. She knew she had to tell them eventually but she lied. "Fine why you ask?"

"It's just last night after you went outside you felt sick." Emma explained advancing toward her mom walking past the kitchen table.

"Christine, Emma did have a point. You were fine until you went to get the popcorn and everything." Snake looked to his wife with a worried expression, narrowing his eyes.

Spike nodded taking it all in. She turned around before pulling herself a seat next to Archie. "Someone visited last night and the person told me something really unsettling." She then silently sat for a few moments, avoiding eye contact and looking at her hands folded at the table.

"You're giving us a heart attack." Snake exclaimed looking at Spike breaking the silence. Emma was silent. "Remember Spike, no secrets." He added with ah whisper. They both had promised after a few of their marital problems that the one problem was, they kept little things from one another.

"Snake, you don't have to worry. In fact, you - stay out o this. This is more about me and Emma." Spike explained to Snake, "However, you know what? I think you would need to know anyway."

"W-what is it?" Emma asked worriedly.

"Em, you have a twin brother." She answered.

"Why didn't you tell me I have a twin brother? " Emma stood up.

"Emma. " Spike reprimanded warning her to sit back down.

"Why? First, you tell me nothing about my dad and I had to go and find him myself? Now this?! What kind of family is this?"

Snake butts into the conversation, "I was just about to say the same thing."

"Emma, Snake wait." Spike calls after Emma. "Calm down."

"Calm down!?" Emma questioned.

"I'm not finished." Spike said frustrated. Emma had already left the room, probably down the basement with Kelly.

"Christine you have a lot to explain. Eighteen years of . . lies." Snake shakes his head disappointedly."I didn't know I had two. I knew I had Emma . . . My mom told me about three years ago when Emma was in high school. Daphne Hatzilacos has Emma's twin, his name is Peter." Spike told Snake, in her own defense.

"Christine you can't tell Emma that." Snake said cautiously unable to completely react.

"What and have her accuse me of lying to her . . .again?" Spike asked, "You saw how she reacted there and I only told her half of the truth."

"She dated Peter two years ago. You know how bad that could damage her?!""I know but. . "

Snake then asked outraged in a whisper. "I-I- how was I not informed of this?!"

Emma stood by the basement door listening to her parents argue. She hated it; it brought her back to a few years ago. After her step-dad had cheated on her mom with Daphne Hatzilacos her high school principal and mother of her boyfriend at the time. How that one night tore apart their family. How sometimes they as a family have to deal with the scars of that night and the repercussions that followed. She still was unable to deal completely with what she heard. She began to question if she had indeed heard her mother correct, Peter Stone is her twin brother. _Peter Stone is my twin brother_, she whispered inaudibly.

Spike sighed, "I don't know . . . I mean I know where your coming from and I know you're shocked but. . .look Emma needs to know but - I'm afraid of how she'd react. The last thing we'd both want is a repeat of the post shooting fiasco. It took a long time for our family to heal from that."

"I know. I feel like I kinda really wish I didn't know about Peter. . or I wish I would've told her earlier or knew then. I was zonked apparently I didn't know my mom gave the green light that we had only really prepared for one baby, Emma. You see I didn't know I had two until years and years later. I didn't think it'd make a difference . . . until I found out that he needed something from his biological parents and he went and tried to track me down." She looked down at her hands, with a pause. "The boy has cancer. I feel sympathetic.""Well doesn't that hit a little close to home?" Snake asked thoughtfully.

"I guess he couldn't find Shane. . . And even if he did he wouldn't know what to do." Spike trailed off, "because he only knows about Emma, but he found me. That was who was at the door the other night when we were watching a movie. I only told Emma that she has a brother. I don't think I could go into the fact that it's Peter Stone!"

Emma emerged from the basement; she had been listening by the door the entire time. "So it's true."

"Emma. . . "Spike tried to talk.

"Wh-" She started before beginning to cry. She had no sympathetic feelings toward Peter; in fact, she had a bitter feeling toward him. She remembered the last things she said to him, it was at the masquerade dance at school. Her stupid plan to be able to hang out with her then-grounded beau due to the street racing thing her ex had bought on to Peter. How she believed Peter over Sean was beyond her, how long had she known Sean? Peter wasn't the guy for her, that night showed what kind of guy Peter was. "How do you know the kid was lying? You clearly don't know him like me. He is trying to throw us for a loop! He always does!"

"Em you don't know. I know someone isn't as cruel as to lie about cancer."

"You don't know Peter!" Emma fired back. "He's malicious, he's sneaky, and he's a pathological liar. I should know I dated the freak! He is manipulative and he knows it. Give me one goddamned reason why you should believe him? He is the reason Sean was kicked out of school. He uses the fact he was Hatzilacos boy to get away with things. I don't believe him."

"Christine. . . She does have a point. I taught him, I know his rap sheet. It's not good. Are you sure?"

"The year Peter started attending Degrassi I was notified that I indeed have a son eighteen years ago." Spike answered. "It's no mix-up, he's my son biologically. I mean, I didn't think about it. I didn't even get a name. I saw Shane when I saw him. He looks like your father did -"

"I got to get out of here." Emma said simply as she exited the room going downstairs silently hoping not to wake up Kelly. She walked up to the bed close to tears stroking his cheek as he slept silently. He seemed so worry free, so peaceful so far from where she was. She knew this was going to an Christmas she'll always remember, not always recollected in a good way. She walked up to her desk pulling out a notebook. She opened up a blank page. There was usually one person she turned to when everything went bad, and this person was usually the only person in the whole world she trusted with everything and understood just what she was feeling. Sean Cameron, was that person. She decided she would finally swallow her pride, and open up to him.

_December 18__th__, 2008_

_Sean, _

_I know this is much belated. I apologize for not writing you sooner, the good news is I started college I suppose it is for a good reason. Happy Holidays to you. How are you doing? I hope you are doing much much better than me. _

_Quick update, graduated high school, I have a boyfriend named Kelly, he's one of my college roommates. In fact, he is in Degrassi with me for the holidays. As for Damien, he got with Liberty on prom night. Ironically, Manny hooked Liberty up wit him on like her birthday a million bazillion years ago, you remember? Well on prom night, a drama showdown went down. I do not really care though, seriously. We are all good friends, all except for Damien. I haven't heard from Toby in awhile. He went to this study abroad thing. Damian I think he actually went to college at Banting and we all went off to Springdale. I don't know what I ever saw in someone like that. Anyway, things had been going really really well. _

_Leave it to me, for everything to go from perfect and great to complete crap in days, this is what is happening right now. You see, I am so disturbed and I'll tell you right now I know you'd understand when I finish. My mom last night went outside during that movie we watch every time the holidays near It's A Wonderful Life? My mom abruptly gets up and leaves, and then I see her outside. Afterwards, she went upstairs to bed. I ask her what happened, because even Snake saw something was wrong, my supposed brother visited her. Apparently, I have a twin I knew absolutely nothing about. Get this, this is the sick and disturbing part - it is Peter. You know ex-boyfriend Peter, it's him. How could my mom keep this from me? Why does my mom insist on keeping things from me? Even so, it just upsets me to know he's someone I was with and saw romantically. That disgusts me. I mean now that I know him as a complete jerk and all, and I don't know what I thought of him before, but now I really know who he is. It's sick. What am I going to do?_

_Please write back. Next time I'll write more often. Just nothing too too eventful has been going on to seriously document on. If there's ever anything you want to write me on, tell me. _

_Always, Emma._

Emma read over her letter one last time. With a sheepish smile she grabbed an envelope on her desk folded it up and placed a stamp on it. She wrote down the information and fixed to take the letter to the post office box. She knew she could never tell Kelly, he wouldn't truly understand. She felt so wrong, but she knew Sean needed to know what was going on. She felt like she owed it to herself to let Sean still in. She couldn't explain why.

Kelly knows nothing but what she tells him. I mean Manny is so easy to become an open book; she is good at telling people about herself. Emma she makes herself more like a mystery, especially in a new setting such as college. She didn't want to be so open. She didn't want Kelly to know about her past really, or just how dysfunctional her life truly is. She thought back on Kelly, perhaps it was a mistake to invite him home.

- x -

Allie buried herself atop Claire's bed putting her _Cosmopolitan _magazine over her head in annoyance at Claire's attire. "How many of those things do you have?"

"One for each day." Claire answered eyeing herself in the mirror. She wasn't exactly satisfied with the girl who stood before her. She had always dressed this way, it was just second nature. She could never tell Allie because Allie would eat it right up. Sometimes she wishes she could open up more, be more like her very outgoing friend.

"Newsflash, Degrassi doesn't have a policy. You could wear whatever you like. Just like parties." Allie answered now sitting up straight clearly annoyed. "Please tell me you're not actually going to wear that tonight."

"I want to look presentable." Claire answered shrugging. Deep down she wanted to wear something somewhat different.

"You can still look presentable and not look like a total cookie cutter." Allie protested.

"I'm not a cookie cutter." Claire pouted crossing her arms.

"Yes you are."

"Yes I'am." She said lamely before she caught wind of what she said, "Hey wait!"

"Do you want my help?"

"I-I uh. . ." Allie took her word as a yes.

"You're in luck I brought an extra skirt and I have a curling iron!"

"You'd do that?" Claire asked Allie honestly hiding the hopefulness in her voice.

"What are friends for? Besides it's a Christmas party, you want to look nice. Especially for K.C."

"Shh! Not so loud." Claire whispered telling Allie to lower her voice.

"Let me guess, your mother has no idea."

"And neither does my father. I'd like to keep it that way."


	3. The Christmas Party Part One

**Chapter Three: The Christmas Party (Part Uno)**

Allie Bandahari searched the phonebook with her cell phone beside her. Since she didn't know Johnny's number she looked it up because she was sure he was listed. She found a listing for a nearby _DiMarco _residence and she dialed. She apprehensively chewed her fingernails on her free hand. She heard a dial tone, it was beeping. Claire just watched from the mirror looking at her new mascara heavy eyes. She actually liked it. It complimented the blue in her eyes. Now, she was somewhat hopeful for Allie as she watched her make the phone call.

Then finally there was answer, a male. "Hello."

"Johnny?" Allie asked.

"Yeah?" He asked, "who is this?"

"Allie." She answered simply.

"Oh." he said with a light snicker, "what are you doing? How did you get my number."

"Nothing, and you are listed. Anyway, reason why I'm calling is tonight is a Christmas party at a friends house, would you like to come?"

A smile played on Johnny's lips. He thought _wow, the girl doesn't give up. Does she? _"I'd like to come. Where will we meet?"

"The Dot sound alright?" She asked.

"What time?" He asked in reply.

"Seven."

"Awesome. See you then."

"Bye." She said as she hung up the phone shrieking. "Oh my god! He's coming."

Claire grinned really big, "Really?!"

"I got to meet him at The Dot at seven."

"Everything is going really smooth. I look good, you look good. I mean cookies are done, boys are sure to come. Perhaps I should listen to you more often, Allie."

"I know, you should." She agreed.

Claire got up off the chair by her mirror looking down at her denim miniskirt and smiling, "Before I leave, does this look alright?" Claire asked one more time a bit out of place.

"Honey, you never looked better." Allie grinned.

- x -

Later on that night, Spike and Snake were cleaning the house for the get together. Emma still hasn't spoken to Spike all day, she came and went and mostly spent time downstairs with Kelly. She probably wouldn't see much of her this holiday, which upsets her. They moved the kitchen table so everything could be long ways and all the food could be placed buffet style. They set up another table for the condiments, napkins and such. The room was decorated with colorful lights and the lights were somewhat dimmed while low Christmas music played. Proud of their creation they waited patiently for Connor to arrive.

Five minutes later, Connor walked inside the house. "Mr. Simpson the house looks different and I'm early."

"I think it's a good different. Nice to see you." Snake replied as he met with Connor making the walk from the kitchen to the door.

Spike was beside Snake, she put on a smile. "Nice to see you too, Connor."

"I know for sure everyone from the gifted program is coming for sure." Connor replied, "Allie is bringing a friend."

"Who did you bring?" Snake asked.

"Nobody, that's okay though."

"Yeah it's fine. Christine and I we have relatives that are all your age. I'm sure you'll find them fun."

"Yeah. Could I take your coat?" Spike asked politely.

Connor hesitated before he nodded, taking off and handing his coat off to Spike. Then there was a knock at the door.

It was Claire. "Who are you?" Connor asked.

"Claire, silly."

"You don't look like Claire."

Mr. Simpson walked up to the door behind Claire, "Nice to see you, come on in."

Claire stepped in. Spike took her coat once she took it off another knock occurred. It was K.C, the boy she liked! She had to act discreet. She turned to face the door, her cookies she made with Allie in her hand in a Tupperware container. "Claire, hey."

"Hi." She managed to get out. She was praying her face wasn't pinking as he often makes her do.

"You look really pretty." He stepped closer.

"Thanks K.C, you like nice too." K.C had a white dress shirt on with a pair of black dress pants. He had a container of something in his hands.

Spike turned to the two children who were carrying food, "So you guys have some food to share let me take you two to the table."

The pair reluctantly agreed, walking to the kitchen. Spike took both dishes placing them on the table. They were in between the kitchen and the living room; he stared longingly at her for just a moment. Claire looked up above her and saw mistletoe. It was so convenient but she didn't want to mention it was there. She was all nerves. Apparently seeing that set off the cue for her face to turn a shade of pink. K.C followed her eyes and laughed lightly.

The laugh he uttered made her suddenly nervous. _So nervous she imagined it only worsened. The laugh continued before Mr. Simpson Connor, Ms. Simpson, and Mr. Simpson's teenaged daughter and boyfriend were suddenly in the area and just laughing. K.C said shaking his head getting his composure. "You think I'd ever kiss you? You're crazy." More laughter followed some random dialogue between people she managed to hear and she ran away in tears. But then she reached a dead end in the kitchen, she bit her lip sadly as she managed to sink lower in a degree of embarrassment as if she was melting. _

"_Claire." _

Finally, she heard her name being called, for real outside of that nightmare. "Claire. Earth to Claire. . " She finally was able snap to reality. It was a moment, nothing happened, she was where she had been standing, nobody saw, and nobody was laughing. She sighed a sigh of relief.

"What do you know?" K.C said hinting at the thing they had both saw.

"Yeah, well uh you know what they say. It's tradition. It wouldn't be a Christmas party without it." Claire tried making sense of the senseless. The truth was she was falling close to the notion of being under the mistletoe with K.C. In fact, she wanted to.

"It's tradition." he repeated nodding. As he said that he stepped even closer to her. With his hand he gently stroked his friends face. He had been hoping she would come that night to the Christmas party. Claire was able to step closer.

They leaned in for a kiss, before Connor managed to but in, causing them to quickly pull apart, yanking them to the door, "Allie is here."

"And?" K.C asked somewhat annoyed, eyeing Claire walking next to him.

It was his chance to finally kiss Claire, and Connor wrecked it. It was such a safe bet, it was so perfect, so going to happen and he didn't have to say anything, it was already to tell Claire how he feels. He wouldn't have to do any explaining, he can show her and Claire often says that actions speak much louder than words. She usually uses it negatively and figuratively about the girls in school. He loved that Claire wasn't like the other girls he had went to school with but he loved the thrill of the chase. Claire intentionally plays hard to get.

"She's got someone with her." Connor vocalized walking to the door.

Snake opened the door letting the pair in. Johnny walked in and looked around; Allie was holding his hand grinning big. Johnny felt out of place, but he knew where he was he was only here once the night that his friend had killed J.T Yorke.

He remembered a few people, but thankfully none of them were there. In fact Johnny didn't like parties much. He liked the quiet, people perceive Johnny as this god awful bad outlaw, and in all honesty he'd take a book about crime than actually committing a crime. He knows that first hand, he sat for a summer doing community service for something he didn't exactly do and he took up reading on the occasion because his would be best friend is now in a delinquent center, Drake. His mother believes he's better off without him. Lucas dropping and moving away out as other kids were placed into other school districts after the incident two years ago was another thing that causes a change in him, Johnny's mother never liked his group of friends. He's been spending time alone, and he even went to a camp over spring break last year for troubled teens. It did change him in a way, gave him new perspective.

Girls rarely gave him any attention, so Allie pursuing him like this made him wonder what was so appealing to her about him. She was a pretty girl, what was she thinking going for someone like him? Was it status? Was it because he's older? Was it because her brother simply doesn't like me? Whatever it is, Allie Bandahari has a thing for him, and it went beyond just the camping trip. The only time he really bantered with a girl was with Darcy. Darcy and he argued all last year a root from his teasing her and it all came to a head on the rooftop. It was just a bad situation he noticed looking back. It was awkward to see her younger sister here at this party. It was awkward all together; there were maybe five or six people in total. This was not exactly an average party.

"This is Johnny." Allie introduced him.

Claire and K.C waved, but Connor scowled, "You broke my moth net."

"You had it coming." He said in defense monotone.

"Connor, Johnny please it's the holidays." Allie said dragging Johnny away from Connor. He was still angry. K.C and Claire exchanged looks and sighed.

Johnny and Allie walked all the way to the door of the basement. She leaned him against a dark hall wall and smiled, "I eat lunch with him, could you two just somehow bury the hatchet tonight? I don't want drama."

"Fine, I will. Just for you _princess_." Johnny said. He didn't want to apologize, it wasn't in him to. He seriously didn't get why Allie was so nice to the kids she sat with; they looked like a bunch of geeks to him.

"Princess, that's cute." Allie blushed at the compliment.

"If you don't mind me saying, so are you."

Allie looked at him before she smiled. "So what do you want to do?"

Johnny thought about it and remembered the last moments they spent together, contained a game of cards. "We could always play cards."

"We never _did _finish off our poker game." Allie said as she opened up the basement door and walked down the steps turning behind her, to see Johnny still at the door. He was so illuminated compared to the dark basement, as she added, "so let's."

Johnny wasn't sure if he should go down there. He had a somewhat bad feeling they'd get caught or he was doing something wrong. Nonetheless he still manage to go two steps down, "You sure?"

"I don't think anyone could interrupt our game down here. I never thought I'd see Johnny DiMarco scared of a _basement _before. "

"Don't you think someone would get mad at us? It looks like someone's room." Johnny said as they reached the bottom of the steps and managed to feel around until they found somewhere to sit, the bed. "Are you allowed to be in here?"

Allie shrugged, "Does it make things interesting?"

"I suppose so . . . "He trailed off trying to resist temptation. He was in a dark room, with a girl who was fawning all over him.

She raised her eyebrow. "Why don't we make things interesting?"

"How interesting?" He asked, his eyes narrowing.

"Well any good game of poker you have to have something on the line, correct?"

"Duh." Johnny answered. "Where are you going with this?"

She let out a light laugh, biting her lip flirtatiously. "I mean we're the only people playing, why don't we play strip?"

A few other students that were also invited to the Christmas party arrived. Mostly friends of Connor and such and Kelly was getting to know people. The conversation seemed to go on without K.C and Claire, so that he nudged her causing her to look over, "I want to try your cookies. Don't think I hadn't forgotten."

"Oh right. Let's go." The two finally arrived in the kitchen. She noticed only a few were missing. He took a bite and his face didn't look good.

"Ugh." he grabbed a napkin and spat into it before throwing it in the trash, "What is in this?"

"Family recipe." Claire concerned and upset. "Why?"

"I hate to break it to you, but they taste awful. Try one."

Claire bit one and reacted much the same as K.C. She teared up before shaking her head, "Allie must've used salt!" Embarrassed she walked outside to the back porch deck and sulked.

"Look it's no big deal." K.C said before the door shut behind her. He sighed, defeated before he walked outside to join her. Light snow was falling, "I'm sorry."

Claire shrugged not saying anything, "I wanted you to like the cookies, and you don't."

"Everyone makes mistakes, it's alright."

Claire looked at K.C longingly. Before smiling, "I promise they don't usually taste like that."

"Even if they did, it wouldn't change anything."

"What do you mean?"

"Do I have to explain?" K.C asked her rhetorically.

"Explain?"

"Claire, I like you, a lot. I think you ought to know."

Claire was thrilled to hear of this. She suddenly was bearing a 1, 000 wat smile. "I like you too."

K.C smiled back. He leaned in to kiss Claire, she followed his lead and finally they shared a sweet, uninterrupted kiss.


	4. The Christmas Party Part Two

**Chapter Four: The Christmas Party (Part Two)**

Kelly and Emma decided to take little Jack to the mall to see and take a photo with Santa. Jack was entertained and Kelly saw that his girlfriend really wasn't and he was worried about her all day. Emma was still horrified with what she had found out earlier in the week. She had gotten a letter response from Sean, and due to hanging out with Kelly and Jack most of the day she was unable to read, and write a response. She was a bit on edge, she became more of a spectator in Kelly and her young brother than a part of everything. Emma wasn't really looking forward to going home, and she had been so excited before, but now she was miserable. She wanted to tell Kelly, but part of her would think he wouldn't like her if he knew her family's secret. She was afraid he wouldn't like her anymore. She wanted him to like her, she had liked him a lot but she wasn't trusting enough in their relationship that she believed things would be bad if she did tell him about things.

The weather was snowy and cold as they finally left the mall. Kelly contemplated asking Emma about things in the car, as he drove. Jack was entertained with his stuffed toy in the backseat and clearly not paying attention. He glanced over at Emma watching the falling snow. "Emma, you've been quiet all day."

"Hm?" She turned around and looked at her boyfriend. She wished she had been talking to Sean, who would normally be really understanding. Meaning, Sean may or may not know her situation, but he knew he was much more trustworthy and comforting to be able to tell him about such a situation. "What did you say? I wasn't paying attention."

He repeated, letting out a sigh before he spoke. "You've been quiet. Is something wrong?"

"Ehhh." She groaned, "I don't think I'm feeling well actually."

"How about I make you soup tonight, we'll chill and watch a movie." Kelly offered, "I could give you a massage?

She cracked a smile and a small chuckle but she had to turn it down. "Babe no it's okay. I just need rest. I think I'll just go down to bed." Normally Emma wouldn't be able to resist his advancement. The simple thought would send tingles all over but for some reason she was disengaged with everything, spending time with family is something she'd never skip out on, especially during the holidays and she has no desire to speak with her mom. "Snake's havin' a Christmas party with some of his classes - you can stay upstairs. I think my parents would like that."

He didn't believe her. He didn't think that she was sick, there was something wrong, and he was deciding to just calm down and let her heal on her own unless she was ready to tell him. Defeated, Kelly turned his direction to the road without a word. What has happened to his girlfriend? He silently hoped she wouldn't be this way all the time they spend at home.

-x-

Back at the party KC and Claire were outside talking. They were swapping stories and they had never felt so close to each other before. The cold weather didn't seem to phase them at all.

"So where did you live before here? I've never seen you around until this year for school."

K.C. paused not laughing before looking up somewhat saddened to Claire. "I'm really not supposed to talk about this. I've been living here and there for awhile, until I finally moved in with grams this summer."

"I-It's okay. We don't have to -" Claire shook her head assuming that he didn't want to talk about, because he didn't sound like he wanted to talk. He wasn't exactly looking at her.

"I trust you, Claire." He said simply. Claire was silent, and let him speak. "So today isn't exactly a day I'm fond of. So, I used to live in the US with my mom. We lived in a small town in New Jersey. So my mom worked like two jobs to make ends meet, and I really don't know who my dad is. I kind of wish I did. After school we went to the store to get something to eat for Christmas dinner which was going to be in a few days. So then we are waiting in line we're scanning and these guys came in and told everyone to get down, they locked up the store and wouldn't let anyone out. I felt like we were down for hours. They said if we called anyone, talked to anyone, or even breathed the wrong way - we would be shot. We'd also be shot if we didn't do whatever they said for us to do. So they started robbing the place, taking whatever they could get. The cashiers were aloud to get up and empty the registers and throw the cash into their bags, and if they didn't - they would be shot. You could only speak unless they spoke to you. It was so dark, and I had to use the bathroom for an hour I remember. So this girl next to me, was about twelve. I went to school with her, and they wanted her to do something sick - I knew it was bad. They called her out of the crowd and the other was going to drag her off somewhere. I wanted to say something so bad, but I couldn't. My mom stood up and told them off, for the girl's sake." That was when K.C nearly broke into tears. "A-and t-then, the other guy who wasn't holding the girl lifted up his sniper and fired a shot to my mom. The worst part was, her body fell on me. She was the only fatality. I hate that they killed her, she was my only family."

Claire saw that K.C was very close now. She rested her hand on his shoulder. He looked up and pulled her into a hug. She ran her hands up and down his back in a soothing way. She listened to him cry, she never felt so bad and conflicted in her life. "I'm sorry I asked you . . ."

He pulled away and shook his head. With his sleeve he wiped his eyes, "No, I wanted you to know. You know Claire. . . I think you're the only real person in this school. I mean you're not superficial, you have values and morals. I like that, I like it a lot and I know you know how to keep a secret. I trust you, and I mean it. I wish there were more people like you, but at the same time I don't. I love that you are real, an-and like I can tell you things. I wanted for so long for you to know about me, because I want to be close with you. You're like my best friend, and yet I want to be so much more."

"What are you saying K.C.?"

"I don't know how to say this any other way but the obvious. I want to go out."

"Where?"

K.C. face palmed his forehead and sighed, trying to remain clam. "Claire! Open your eyes." She timidly bit her lip. She knew he had more to say. "I wanna be with you. I never had a girl I could feel like I can be my whole self around. I can tell you everything. I want to hang out with you, see movies, get ice cream, carry your books and spend time with you. Claire, I like you. I know I know I told you earlier . . I need to say it again."

"Yes." She whispered swallowing hard. "I want that too."

"Are you going to the dance in January?"

Claire's smile faded. Yes, she was going to the dance, but she had already promised she would go with Connor. She dreamt of going to the dance with K.C. but her other friend had jumped the gun and asked her. Frightened of hurting her friends feelings, she said yes. "He - Co- Ugh. Yes."

He looked at her with a confused expression. "You don't seem to happy about it."

"Well. . . . Connor asked me and I said I would go with him."

Disappointedly he shrugged, "I wanted to ask you."

Her face fell, she wanted to go with him as well. "Oh."

Looking on a bright side. "I mean I'm sure he wouldn't mind me cutting in for one dance."

A smile played on Claire's lips. "True. I don't think he'd mind at all."

-x-

Emma, Kelly and Jack exited the car. The youngster ran inside quickly. Emma started to to open up the door herself but Kelly stopped her by tapping her on the shoulder. She turned to face him. "What is it?"

"Talk to me." Kelly answered.

"Hey." She faked a smile, somewhat confused.

"Something is wrong. You're acting. . weird. These past couple of days you've been distant you barely talked when we went out today. I mean I normally would like let it pass but it's been two days! What's the deal? You don't even wanna spend time with me!"

"I'm not feeling well, I think I have a cold." She claimed, although she was lying through her teeth.

"You aren't sneezing, or coughing and you seem fine to me. Why are you acting like this?"

"I can't tell you, it's just hectic near the holidays for me."

"Why?"

"It's complicated, Kelly. You wouldn't get it if you tried."

"I want to understand, Em. I do, you never let me in. How are we going to get anywhere?!"

"I need more time." She whispered.

"We've been dating, _three _months and we've known each other at least five. You were the first girl in the dorms that I was able to talk to. I mean really talk to, I play you my music, you tell me all these funny stories about you and your friends - but I always feel you tell me half. . of everything. It's never 100%, it's always 50% and I think I give 100%. I mean it's really saying something when I'd put aside you know hooking up with random girls and actually settle for someone who I truly felt something with."

"Kelly. . . It's not you. It's bad, Kel really bad."

"Try me, try me tell me what it is. I hate having to find things out about you through Manny. . . Or Liberty. I want to hear things from you!"

Emma said nothing for a moment. It hurt to know her boyfriend talked to her friends about her. "How about I paint a picture for you? How would you feel if one day you feel like you've been lied to for the past eighteen years? When there's a whole part of you that you knew nothing about. Then you find out, that - they aren't who they seem. You haven't a clue what I'm going through and it's so bad you'd be sick if I told you or if you were going through what I'm going through! You'd be as sick as I feel now."

"I'm sure I can stomach it."

"I don't want to rehash it." She shook her head, nearing tears, "please."

"Please tell me." He said stepping closer to her.

"NO!" She hollered as she let herself into the house and walked by the party, her parents, the guests without a hello or anything and in the direction of her bedroom steps.

Kelly sighed as he momentarily let himself in and sat down on the couch next to Snake and a few friends. Joey and Angie were over and they were discussing old times and he couldn't of been more confused. Angie was eating some snacks and playing with Jack. Kelly felt really out of place, but he really didn't care. He needed to do something to take his mind off of his problems in paradise.

Emma silently stepped down stairs, she just wanted to read the letter, write a response and get to bed. She stopped dead in her tracks when he saw a white shirt being lifted up through her beaded blinds. Her eyes widened as she walked through. She coughed. She saw a young girl around fourteen and an older guy on her bed. She, was now in her bra and the guy wasn't wearing pants and they had cards out that had spilled onto the floor while they were making out. They didn't hear her come in.

"The party is upstairs!" She exclaimed. Allie lifted her head from Johnny looked right at Emma wide eyed like an owl. The boy sprang up quickly looking for his pants that had been on the floor. She found her shirt and put it on quickly as she and Johnny ran upstairs. Emma called after them. "Don't think I wont tell my dad!"

She sighed throwing herself on the bed. Pulling the envelope from her pocket. She tore it open and unfolded the letter from Sean.

The letter read:

_Emma! _

_Wow it's been awhile is right! It's so great to hear from you. I miss you. I wish you a Merry Christmas as well. How have you been handling yourself besides well. . The obvious? I can't believe Peter is your brother! I think you'll be alright, you'll live. What I don't get is why now he's telling your mom. I wouldn't put it past him though if this isn't a sick joke, I mean it is Peter._

_Military is well. . Yeah hard. I don't get much time but I got your letter and I just had to write back. I like that you wrote me. I thought about you a few weeks ago and wondered how you were doing. I might be able to come to town at the end of the week. How long will you be in Degrassi? Maybe I might see you. Oh maybe we can continue writing letters, seeing a letter really brightened my day. Pen pals? Write back soon._

_- Sean _


	5. Love in the Dark

**Chapter Five: Left in the Dark**

Emma Nelson couldn't help but smile. The rest of the letter was mostly everything to make her smile, because it was Sean. She barely glanced the fact that he could be coming around this Christmas it wasn't that she didn't see it, she just wouldn't mind. It is the least of her worries, there is far more important things going on she would worry herself into a coma if it were a big deal, for she is the one who constantly is used to sweating the small stuff. She responded back to his letter, and planned to mail her response the next day. Having Sean as a pen pal she succumbed to the whole thought of it as a good idea. She needed to turn to someone, Manny is away with family in another town, Liberty is staying at university working on some assignments and on Christmas she was spending it with family and her boyfriend Kelly and her are suddenly having problems, she's having problems opening up to him and it's just a mess.

She is beginning to look back on her decision of bringing him along as a regret but at the same time, she didn't. She still saw Sean as a friend, for the first time in their existence. She stuck her letters from Sean including the one she was going to send in a drawer inside her bedside table, maneuvered herself under the covers, and sighed lightly. It came to her she would eventually have to tell Kelly about Sean, she figured it would speak for himself when he would see him.

It really is no secret whenever Sean's around Emma has an instant gravitation towards him. It's true he is the only person who can get her to fall weak in the knees with little effort; because he is Sean possibly the only love, she had ever known. She has dated and liked, enjoyed his or her company but nobody ever could compare to Sean, not even Kelly. Sean's always going away and coming back, and he's always perpetually on her mind, and it shouldn't be healthy but it's been that way since the day they met and it's not subject to change and everyone knows it. Everyone would be lying if it were; it is just the way it is to be. Emma of course never thinks that heavily about it, not even now. She used to, but she knew they were in two different places, but sometimes she is stubborn and only sees what she wants to and tends to isolate herself when things go awry. She managed to begin to sail off to sleep but was interrupted when she saw Kelly. She sat up in bed and smiled.

"Babe, look I know you aren't feeling well, and you're tired but can I say something?" Kelly said once he got to her bed. He sat down on the foot of her bed; her eyes had adjusted to the darkness of her bedroom so she was able to see his silhouette.

She stated in reply. "Shoot."

"I just want you to know, you can tell me whenever you are ready about everything, anything you're going through. I just want to say that I am sorry. I'm sorry I acted like a total prick outside, Em."

Without a word, Emma leaned forward across the bed and pulled him into a hug. She was only in a white tee shirt with a panda bear on it that she sent away from the endangered animals' thing for research, the tee shirt was like a dress on her and had always been. She always liked her nightshirts long so she ordered the shirt purposely a few sizes bigger and she had remained slender so the shirt really fit as such. After a moment she spoke, after she broke away from the hug, "I'm sorry I've been a terrible host this week."

"I should have been more sensitive. I am just not used to the whole. . relationship thing. It doesn't mean I'm not willing to be, it's just I've always been used to knowing everyone I'm around and being able to go from friend, to occasional hook up and then friend again, girls like you are so different and I like it and I'm attracted to you, and how you are. So everything is different, so when I went off to college it's meeting people at square one, being from the small town and how my town worked or the people I was around - it was nice coming here to your hometown though I felt kind of like home but just not. Gah, whatever you don't get it. I want you to know though, I am having fun I don't want you to feel bad, and I'm hoping we can have more fun, see your cute smile I just have to see it. I can tell you want to smile your smile, you know the one I totally fell in love with." Emma beamed wide and blushed biting her lip with a slight breath of a laugh, "See, see that, that there. I love it, can't get enough."

"Alright, alright." Emma said laughing motioning for him to come over. She whispered in his ear, "Come in bed, and get cozy."

"Oh yeah? Is everything okay now?"

She thought before she answered, "I don't think anything is wrong at the moment now, come on."

Kelly got into bed with Emma; they more or less held each other close and fell asleep and not much else.

Outside, Allie and Johnny were so embarrassed about Emma's scolding that they just decided to leave the party. Allie left so suddenly she completely forgot that she had left her jacket and her deck of cards, the cards were more or a less the least of her worries and the jacket was a bigger deal. She wrapped her arms around herself as her and Johnny more or less walked. The pair didn't know where they were going; they mostly followed each other around despite the cold and the falling snow.

"So what are we going to do now that we got kicked out of Simpson's so to speak?" Johnny asked Allie unaffected by the cold since he more or less threw back on his coat when he was in the basement. It was a beige leather coat, it was somewhat worn and very comfortable, and he had it for a long time.

Allie let out a teeth clattering, "I don't know."

"I guess I'll walk you home." Johnny replied simply. He didn't know what to say. "Just lead the way; I have no idea where you live."

Allie nodded; despite being cold, she was incredibly blushy. After all, she was with her crush, Johnny. She couldn't believe was able to kiss him and it was the single most rebellious moment in her life when they were caught by Emma. Johnny hesitated, before draping his coat over her arms seeing that she needed it more than he did. "Oh thanks, Johnny."

Johnny and Allie's eyes met, and then he broke eye contact, he shyly nodded. "Allie, why do you talk to me? Why do you bother with me?"

Allie jumped in surprise. She was speechless in it. "I uh . . . what?"

"You're in the scholars program, you're gifted and you are smart. You are not supposed to want to hang out with people like me I can't make the honor roll and I'm awful to your friend Connor."

"Connor is my classmate, we get along but I would say we're far from friends. What does it matter?"

Johnny let out a sigh. "You don't give up so easily do you?"

"Nope!' She exclaimed with a smile.

"So you're a determined person, you got drive, you have potential and you are going to go places with it. The point of me saying this is - you need to stay far away from me because I'd only bring you down."

"Work comes easy to me, I took the program because I feel I'm not challenged enough not because I enjoy learning it's just easy. My parents like it because they think for some odd reason I like to learn and it's something less for them to worry about I'm around less guys for some reason they don't want me to date. They are so old school."

"The only thing I like learning, is reading. I really like to read. I had a tutor and he told me that reading makes you smarter. I'm doing anything to get my GPA up so I can graduate and get out of this high school and do anything I want and get away from the people who are kind of bringing me down. My one friend is in jail and it looks like he is not going to come out. I mean I am slowly starting to realize my friends and even me - we are never logically going to get out of this town. We are bound to stay in Degrassi, we are bad news and I can't do much about it. I have a reputation, and it isn't good and I am not proud of it. My reasoning and stuff is maybe if I do better in school I could maybe make a difference."

Allie nodded before she spoke. "I don't think you're bad news."

"I spent about a month in a juvenile detention center; I was an accessory to murder. I think that would make me what everyone calls bad news."

"You didn't want to kill the guy did you?"

Johnny shook is head violently. "I just wanted to scare the guy. We had a vendetta, it was really stupid if I actually broke it down and told you and looking back we were really stupid."

"Tell me, we have awhile."

Johnny sighed. "So my boy Lucas dated this girl Mia."

"The T-Bombz girl?! I love her, she is so nice! She signed a few things and she's lovely."

"Eh yeah." He said uncomfortably. "Anyway, my boy Lucas dated Mia. We used to go to Lakehurst before our school and Degrassi merged, we were in junior high at this time and it was like eighth grade I guess? Yeah, so Mia gets pregnant and suddenly Lucas and her break up and we're all, alright? So she has the kid and she takes a year off from school, then she went to Lakehurst for awhile and then she eventually went to Degrassi."

"She had a baby?"

Johnny nodded, "Keep in the DL."

Allie continued to listen. "Secrets' safe with me."

"So Lucas was mad when he finds out that this punk who goes to Degrassi is dating her. His name was J.T, and we just wanted shake him up a bit, maybe beat him up and then leave it at that, you know?"

Allie nodded understandingly.

"So yeah. So this one night everything kinda goes the heck. We go to a party in Degrassi and crash it - it was actually held at the house we were just at. So we're messin' around by J.T.'s car and my friends taking a leak and he's all, there and I'm standing there. Next thing you know when the punk turns around my friend just rides up and rams a knife in his back. It wasn't supposed to happen that way; heck I didn't even know my buddy had the knife. I knew that it wasn't supposed to happen, we never planned the harm him - my best friend didn't. So he ran off, I followed, and we left J.T. there to die. I regret it, we never intended to kill him - we just wanted to get even. It was what Lucas wanted, he wanted to shake up the guy he was pissed that his girl, and wife of his kid is dating some other guy."

Allie said nothing at first. "That doesn't make you bad. You were at the wrong place at the wrong time."

"I got a rep because I was there. It's even worse the whole thing is about my boy's girl and not my own."

"It was a bad choice, you aren't a bad person."

"You don't know me at all; of course you are going to say that. I mean I told you all that, anyone with a brain would say I'm trouble and to stay away, far away. Everyone in Degrassi knows I'm trouble and if we didn't have a principal I'd be out of here no questions asked, I'm on thin ice if I make one false move I could get expelled. I don't want to get expelled; I need to keep my nose clean I can't get distracted."

Allie sighed. "You're doing a good job thus far?" She couldn't offer much but she wanted to try.

Allie stopped walking as they approached the house, Johnny stopped too. "My point of all of this stuff I'm saying is; Allie, why do you enjoy hanging out with me? What is it about me that you defend my choices and you can't justify them as anything because you don't know me as people do, because I don't see it. Why?"

"Why do you want to know?"

"I just do?"

"I know nothing about girls just spit it out?"

"I think you might know."

"Please, just tell me."

Allie lowered her head before looking up at Johnny. "I like you, Johnny."

"I can see you think I'm cool and nothing like people you know and you like me because of that but - but like me?"

"I really like you." She reiterated.

A sweet smile played on Johnny's lips. He couldn't just cave and he didn't know for sure how he felt for this most persistent girl. They shared a few strange moments; he couldn't explain it and he didn't want to admit it. What would his friends say? "Settlin' down there ol' Johnny?" or "Robbin' the cradle aren't you?" He held tight to his bad boy way and his sweet smile turned to a smirk. "Cool. I gotta go though, so I'll see you around or something?"

A crestfallen yet angry Allie manifested from this moment. Her hopeful smile faded to a frown. She had just told a boy she liked him, and despite everything she defended him, listened to him, played cards with him, liked him, kissed him that night at the Simpson's house and everything and yet this is how he replies? Cool? Not cool. The possibility of her hanging out with him sounds like a less than inviting open invite that she wouldn't take now. She took off his coat and threw it at him. "Yeah, around. It was real."

Johnny unsure of what to make of that held his coat as he watched the young girl walk into the house and not look back at him. Johnny stood there for a few moments; he really knows nothing about girls.

Allie walked into the house shut the door. Nobody was downstairs, and it was quiet enough for her to notice everyone was asleep. She slid down the door, sat down the ground, and just cried.

Somewhere else, others had better luck at the party. K.C. decided to walk his new girlfriend home. "So you have a sister huh?"

"Yeah we were really close. She went to Kenya, she sends me things."

K.C thought back to the first day of school. He remembered a brunette girl walking next to Claire. He suddenly derived a conclusion. "She coming home for the Holiday?"

Claire shrugged. "Not that I know of. This will be the first Christmas without her, last Christmas she was kind of out of it though. I think this experience in Kenya could be good for her. I just wish she didn't leave me here."

K.C looked a bit hurt yet he understood where she was coming from. "I'm sure she didn't want to leave you. Think about it, you won't have to live under her shadow; I know you feel that way."

"How?"

"Because, Claire. I can read you. You are easy to read. I know when you lie or don't mean what you say, like you get this wrinkle in your nose or you do some face twitch, or you smile and look down, avoid eye contact and tense up."

Claire darted her eyes at K.C freezing in her spot. He turned around and stopped as she did. A smile crept across her face as she questioned, "Yeah?"

"It doesn't help that I like you, so I would like overanalyze everything. I notice little things, details. I have no idea why I'm telling you this." His face was now turning a hint of pink.

She giggled. "I thought I was the only one who overanalyzed."

"There is nothing wrong with it."

"It's human." Claire said sneaking a kiss on K.C's cheek, close to his lips as she stepped on her step of her house.


End file.
